


Love Me, Leave Me

by Elphen



Series: Love Me, Leave Me [1]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, deliberately vague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 19:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elphen/pseuds/Elphen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is worse, leaving or being left behind? When the life of the other is cut short, they must contemplate this</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me, Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> Not entirely accurate work title, but it's the best I can think of.  
> This was born out of having just seen both "The Remorseful Day" and the last episode of A Touch of Frost ("If Dogs Run Free pt2") and wanting to do more of an angsty entry into this fandom.  
> No betas or britpicks, just me doing a long drabble-like thing, really.

It wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this, anyway. Not like this at all.

But happen it has and now here he is, standing helpless and lonely once more. There’s a lump in his throat and a twitch in his jaw as he struggles to keep a calm facade. He can barely look at what’s lying in front of him as he tries to tell himself, fool himself really, that it’s not true. Yet the body is solid evidence that it very much is.

It’s almost nice, however bizarre that sounds. There’s a calmness to the features, almost serenity, that wasn’t there in life. It makes him look younger, at peace. Then again, the facial expressions and sometimes lack thereof have been what made the man such a joy to watch in life and seeing it gone now, snuffed from the lifeless body like it was never there in the first place is terrifying in the extreme.

How fragile a life, how much it takes to bring it into existence and how easily it’s taken away. A loud noise, a projectile hitting flesh, a deafening silence and a life bleeding away in front of him. He’s had Laura and Innocent tell him there’d been nothing he could do, but the guilt and the terrible pain is there whatever they say. He’s tried to make sense of it all without any success and he still can’t decide which is worse; that there is a God somewhere and it’s all been planned or that there’s no divine being and it’s random and purposeless.

There’s no one left in the room except the two of them and it echoes with the silence. The few that’s been, family and friends, has offered their condolences, they’ve cried and they’ve gone. He’s not said a word through it all, only nodded in acknowledgement of their tears, grief and attempts at consolation.

Nothing will console him. Nothing will make the body in front of him sit up and crack a smile or banter with him like they used to. No more laughter, no more shouting, no more being nosy in the name of caring, no more trying to outdo each other in witticism and clever puns, no more solving cases. No more life waiting to be unfurled, with career and the family he deserves. But death cannot be undone and all the tears in the world do not make a heart beat again.

A life cut short, they said. Unfair, they’ve called it. A terrible shame, a waste, an unimaginable tragedy. It’s been all that and so much more. So much more than any of them will ever know.

He never even got the chance to say those for words he’d been holding onto for so long, terrified what the reaction would be. Now he’ll never know and it’s another thing that’s tearing him up inside. Finally looking down at the still face in front of him, he lets a finger slide down a cheek that’s cold in a way only death can provide. No time like the present, he may as well say it now.

“I love you, sir.”

**Author's Note:**

> Might make more of these. Wanted this one to be deliberately vague and might have overachieved, I don't know, and at least at first glance applicable to both men. I've probably failed terribly at the whole thing, too. Oh, well...  
> Comments are welcomed as is constructive criticism


End file.
